1408.11 DARK CLOUDS

I feel it. It's hard to explain. Like dark clouds around my head that grip my brain and squeeze. I'm becoming accustomed to things not going my way and no matter how much effort I put into anything the result is never worth it.

I need a holiday. Haven't had one since 2012 and not able to have one this year either. I have a break coming up but it's not the same. I just want what people seem to have. Friends and colleagues have holidays, have nights out. I know most have double incomes with themselves and partners and I don't have that. I know I shouldn't compare but it's hard when everyone seems to be talking of holidays and great times.

It feels that I'm treading water and I'm getting tired.

SUPPLEMENTAL;

I've delayed posting this as the shocking news of Robin Williams' death broke that day. The news resonated with me at the time even though my situation is nothing like his. I've been to dark places in my life but never faced pure despair. I can only hope that more people will now speak about mental illness and the stigma will not be as great.

RIP ROBIN WILLIAMS