It's a Christmas tradition in many households to get the TV listings magazine and scour it for seasonal offerings. In these days of digital guides and EPGs it's nice to have something tangible and physical. My choice (as it is with so many others) is the seasonal edition of the oldest of the TV listings magazines; Radio Times.
So I've scoured the pages and if I can help anyone with their highlighter pens then that's great. I've tried to avoid repeats and I'm not including any movies. Here's my choice of what's unmissable on the run up to the big day and what you shouldn't miss on Christmas Day itself...
Saturday 17th
Ronnie Barker (left) in classic "Porridge"
If Strictly is your thing then tonight's the night. Sadly it's not my thing. This first night is poor fayre for seasonal offerings so I've gone for a classic...
Captain's Pick: Porridge (23:10 BBC2) - 1975 Christmas edition (yes I know I've broken my repeat rule)
Sunday 18th
Seasonal fayre is also lacking tonight but the night is all about BBC Sports Personality of the Year (18:40 BBC1)
Monday 19th
I do love a comedy panel show, tonight has the first of the the seasonal specials.
Captain's Pick: Would I Lie to You at Christmas (20:30 BBC1)
Special mention: Alan Carr's 12 Stars of Christmas (22:00 Ch4) - Celebrity quiz show continuing each night this week.
Tuesday 20th
Not much to watch tonight, Alan Carr's 12 Stars of Christmas continues but not much else.
Wednesday 21st
My second comedy panel show seasonal special is my...
Captain's Pick: Insert Name Here (22:00 BBC2)
Thursday 22nd
Let's pay a Christmas visit to the zoo...
Captain's Pick: The Secret Life of the Zoo at Christmas (20:00 Ch4)
Special mentions: Mock the Week (22:30 BBC2) and
The World's Most Expensive Toys (21:00 Ch4)
Friday 23rd
Adil Ray as Mr Khan
Let's crank up the Christmas comedy tonight.
Captain's Pick: Citizen Khan: It's a Khanderful Life (20:30 BBC1)
Special mention: Last Leg Christmas Special (21:00 Ch4)
CHRISTMAS EVE
The day before the big day and once the wrapping is done you'll want to settle down in front of the box with a beer.
Captain's Pick: Eight out of Ten Cats Does Countdown Christmas Special (21:00 Ch4)
Special mention: Trigger Happy Christmas Special (23:00 Ch4)
CHRISTMAS DAY
The Doctor Returns
So the big day and you probably won't have time for much TV today. There's Top of the Pops Christmas (13:50 BBC1) whilst you put the finishing touches to the Christmas dinner and after The Queen (15:00 BBC1 and ITV) addresses the nation and the Commonwealth you might want to set your digital boxes to record (or download) my...
Captain's Pick: Doctor Who (17:45 BBC1) - a Christmas tradition these days, and since it's been a year since any new episodes so anticipation is high.
Captain's 2nd Pick: Mrs Brown's Boys (22:30 BBC1) - Seasonal comedy from our favourite Irish matriarch.
Special mention: Maigret's Dead Man (21:00 ITV) - Drama starring Rowan Atkinson.
I'll go over the remaining Christmas TV next week.
THE JARL
The face of the operation. You can find the full saga in the About Me section above.
MORTICIA
The Shield-maiden and my everything. They say behind every great man is a great woman; the truth is, I’d simply be lost without her.
MY GIRLS
Harley and Rags. Raising daughters has been the greatest privilege of my life. They’re grown now, but getting time with them is still the best part of any day.
THE BOY
Atreus. My grandson and the greatest gift. Son of Rags, he has brought a new level of meaning to everything I do.
THE BEST MATE
The oath-brother. We’ve been mates since we were 16 years old. Too much history to count and a bond that’s stood the test of time.
THE DOG
Magnus. The loyal hound. Whether we’re out on a long trek or just settled for a cuddle, life is infinitely better with him at my side.
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𝖂𝖊𝖑𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊, 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖛𝖊𝖑𝖑𝖊𝖗.
ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ᴀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ, ꜱʜᴀʀᴇ ᴀ ᴛᴀʟᴇ, ᴏʀ ᴊᴏɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴄᴜꜱꜱɪᴏɴ. ʟɪᴠᴇʟʏ ʙᴜᴛ ʀᴇꜱᴘᴇᴄᴛꜰᴜʟ ᴅᴇʙᴀᴛᴇ ɪꜱ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ᴡᴇʟᴄᴏᴍᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ʜᴀʟʟ — ᴛʜᴇ ɢᴏᴅꜱ ᴛʜᴇᴍꜱᴇʟᴠᴇꜱ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ ᴀ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴀ ꜱʜᴀʀᴘ ᴍɪɴᴅ.
ʙᴜᴛ ᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴀɴɴᴇʀꜱ: ᴀʙᴜꜱᴇ, ʀᴜᴅᴇɴᴇꜱꜱ, ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴘᴀᴍ ᴡɪʟʟ ʙᴇ ꜱᴡɪꜰᴛʟʏ ᴄᴀꜱᴛ ᴏᴜᴛ ɪɴᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʟᴅ, ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴀᴠᴇɴꜱ ᴡɪʟʟ ɪɢɴᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇᴍ.
ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴡɪꜱʜ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴏᴍᴍᴇɴᴛ, ᴀ ꜱɪᴍᴘʟᴇ ᴇᴍᴏᴊɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴅᴏ — ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴀ ꜱɪʟᴇɴᴛ ɴᴏᴅ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇɴᴄʜᴇꜱ ɪꜱ ᴀᴘᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴀᴛᴇᴅ.
ɴᴏᴡ, ᴡᴀʀᴍ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰɪʀᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋ ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪꜱʜ.