PAVEMENTS, PYJAMAS, AND PERMANENT ADDRESSES

enerally, I shy away from commenting on what people choose to wear. Personal expression is something I hold sacred; I’m a firm believer that you should be yourself and feel free to express your identity however you see fit. However, there is one boundary I simply cannot ignore.

MYTH OF THE QUIET HOUSE

very now and again, my wife heads off for a few days of well-earned respite. She’s with a friend who understands the ins and outs of her disability and knows exactly how to help her navigate the world to get the best out of the trip. This week, they are down in "that London" for a whirlwind of fun and frivolity. Me? I’m here, keeping the gears turning as usual.

VICTORY OF THE LIGHT: SIGRBLÓT, CERNUNNOS, AND THE CRICKET CLUB

aster is often viewed through a single lens, but history reveals a far more complex tapestry. It is a season of renewal and rebirth that predates modern practices by millennia. While some today may aggressively lay claim to these origins, there is room here for all faiths—and for those with none.

SURVIVING THE "A" BOMB

ife has a way of creating chores for us and then making it difficult to complete them. It can be hard to get stuff done when, suddenly, there’s something else that needs doing.

CHAOS IN A SMALL SPACE BY THE HEARTH FIRE

wenty-five years ago this year, we moved into our home. We were a young family with a five-year-old and another on the way. It’s a little house—three compact bedrooms that were perfectly fine for our small family at the time. Life, as it tends to do, unfolded in its own way, and today we still find ourselves in the same place. However, looking back at those twenty-five years, I realise I haven't yet shared the current makeup of our household as it stands today.

THE MIDPOINT OF MY YULE

hile many feel the festive spirit starts to fade as soon as the Boxing Day leftovers are cleared, those who celebrate Yule know the magic is only just beginning. Far from being a fleeting moment, Yule is a season that carries us through the heart of winter, with celebrations continuing well into the New Year. As we reach the midpoint of this ancient festival, I wanted to pause and share a recap of my journey through Yule so far.

2212.03 FREEZIN

This winter is going to be hard. Perhaps the hardest I've experienced since I was a child. Already it's cold but it's going to get colder. This post however is not about the weather.

2204.26 THE WAITING

What a dreadful time we are living through, the world is in a sorry state with climate change not being addressed and war in Europe for the first time. Closer to home, we have a cost of living crisis, and of course, the pandemic is still bubbling under the headlines.

2108.29 PUPDATES AND EXHAUSTION

I think I underestimated the effect getting a puppy would have on our household. Magnus has turned our lives upside down.

2105.21 DOG

Ever since Angel passed there has been an emptiness in my life. Our home feels empty without her.

2103.07 SHE CANNE TAKE NO MORE CAPT'N

This should have been the blog post I wrote the other week before Angel passed. For some time now, years in fact, our boiler has struggled to perform adequately.

1910.13 BATTERY CRITICALLY LOW - PLEASE RECHARGE

Friday was Mental Health Awareness Day. Over the last few months I've been increasingly aware that my own mental health has been slipping. There's a lot going on and I realise I might not be handling it very well. One thing I thought might be beneficial to take a bit of time out.

1801.06 BACK HOME ON MY OWN

Some couples are inseparable, others keep their distance. I like to think that we strike a healthily balance. We love to spend our time together but are free to pursue our separate interests.

1612.06 CRACK OUT THE CHRISTMAS MOVIES

We normally put up the tree and decorations on the first weekend in December. Unfortunately this year I was working so we've had to try and fit it in during the week. Yesterday I ventured into the loft to get the boxes of Christmas decorations.

1611.26 HOME ALONE

This weekend Morticia has gone away with the girls so I've been left 'home alone', well not quite. I'm here with Rags and we are enjoying a bit of quality time together. We've been catching up on all our favourite superhero TV shows and eating junk food. We're having a great time.

When she goes to bed I've been working on new graphics for my website/blog ready for next year. Next year is a big milestone for my website. It'll be 15 years old. Although in the early years I gave it loads of attention it's only in the last year that I've given it renewed vigor and in that time I've 'met' loads of new friends. Well the new graphics I'm working on will show my commitment to this outlet. Although I am active on social media I fell out of love with it some time ago. Blogging allows me to express myself emotionally and creativly whilst still having control.

A first look at some of the new graphics
(I'm not quite happy with the menu bar yet).

Anyway, that was a bit of a tangent...

Every relationship is different but I feel it's healthy to spend a little time apart and (after Rags has gone to bed) some time alone. I'm making the most of my time and getting some great quality time with my daughter. Today I'm making Toad in the Hole and we are going to watch movies. It's going to be a great day.

Supplemental 1611.27;
Today had promise but has been sadly marred by a nasty migraine which has left me in bed for most of the day. The movies we planned to watch remain unwatched and the quality time I planned was reduced significantly. I'm very disappointed with how the weekend has panned out in the end. We got in some quality time but not as much as I'd hoped. 

1610.17 SQUEEZED IN

We live in a small house. It's got 3 bedrooms but they are small. It's fine for us. So when Morticia's father turned up on our doorstep last week having been kicked out by his partner we struggled to figure out where to accommodate him. I know our eldest daughter doesn't live with us but her room (which is the smallest room) is still her room and she is storing loads of her things in there (so much so that the room is unusable). So at the moment he's on our settee which is inconvenient to say the least and probably uncomfortable for him.

It's looking like he might be here for the long term which it already making our lives difficult. Not sure how this is going to pan out but it's a bit of a squeeze.

Supplemental 1610.25; After we returned from our Welsh break my father-in-law had moved out. He's back in his previous home which is a volatile situation still.

1609.25 HEADSPACE

I get 1 weekend off in every 3 with my current shift pattern. This makes every weekend quite special. This weekend I planned to sort out a friend's wedding photos (a bit of photoshop tidying) and of course go cycling. Apart from that we were just going to relax as a family and spend time together.

My head had other ideas.

Yesterday my head felt like it was in a vice whilst being repeated hit on the forehead with a lump hammer. It was like a hangover without the pleasure of a night out. The unmistakable dark mist had descended over me. I couldn't explain the cause of was just there. I couldn't concentrate on the photos I was supposed to be working on. This morning I planned to go cycling with the club but after a night of nightmares and waking up feeling so much dread I didn't feel like going, so I didn't. Probably the worst decision I could have made, I spent the morning feeling guilt on top of everything else.

A double rainbow to cheer me up? 🌈 #ukweather #Rotherham #southyorkshire

A photo posted by CaptainKirt™ (@captainkirt) on Sep 25, 2016 at 9:25am PDT

Maybe it's because it's the end of summer? Maybe it's that my life feels like I'm just treading water? I don't always know why the darkness descends over me, I wish I did. This afternoon as I sat looking out of the window and 2 rainbows appeared. I took it as a sign that things are going to get better. It's the first positive thought I've had all weekend.

I know this post doesn't make much sense, I apologise for that but writing it down makes it easier for me to process it all. 

1606.10 LAST DAY ON MY OWN

So my week without Morticia is almost over. I've spent the week mostly being horizontal, eating junk and watching movies and Netflix. Why? Because in 'real life' that's not what I do (except for the odd evening in). The week has gone by pretty fast, in the morning it'll be done with and after the weekend life will return to 'normal'.

Apart from the odd cloudburst it's been hot and sunny all week, perfect cycling weather yet I haven't turned a pedal all week. I could have set up the turbo trainer but if I'm honest I didn't want to. I needed to be fully relaxed.

I've eaten so badly I'm at the point where I'm craving pasta and grilled chicken. One of the supposed culinary highlights of the week was a Chinese takeaway that I'd promised myself weeks before. Sadly I was disappointed and whilst it was OK, it wasn't as great as I've come to expect from my favourite restaurant. I've drank so much Pepsi Max I think I'll be off the stuff for months.

I hit the movie collection pretty hard, I've watched...

The Hangover Trilogy, Star Wars - The Force Awakens, Casablanca, Edge of Tomorrow, Paul, A Good Day to Die Hard and Mission Impossible - Rogue Nation.

There is also the favourites that I always seem to watch when Morticia goes on a trip; Brassed Off and The Flying Scotsman (Graeme Obree story).

Netflix was hit too, I binged on Marvel's Jessica Jones and watched the Jimmy Carr stand up special.

So what about Rags? My daughter has been here but I've barely seen her all week. She has a busy after school life, with Army Cadets and helping out with the school play our quality time has been very short.

So tonight I tidy and clean around the house, pack up a few bits for tomorrow I go get my Morticia back!

1606.06 HOME ALONE

Well, not quite alone but all this week it'll be me with my (not so) little girl, Rags. Morticia is off to spend a week at her mother's while life goes on up here at home. This is a regular thing, she goes probably once or twice a year for a little restbite. As always I think it's a good idea right up to the point that she has to get on the train, then it gets emotional. Anyway, I put her on the train and then dashed home (5 minutes away) to track her journey on the National Rail Enquiries website. Surprisingly she got to her destination with little issue (just the booked seat booked not being as requested).

Morticia leaving on the train (this isn't a stock pic,
it's the actual train leaving Meadowhall Station).

People abroad and in the south may be looking at this picture wondering how this train is running without electricity. Well up in the "Northern Powerhouse" our trains are pretty much long buses on train tracks. Luckily this was just the first leg of her trip, the rest of the trip was on more modern electric trains.

So what plans have I for my temporary freedom? Not much really, I'm planning to watch a few movies, grab a Chinese takeaway and generally relax. Naps without nags are in this week!

1605.00 THE DELIVERY DEPOT

Being a shift worker means I'm at home in the day quite often. The local postman and quite a few of the courier drivers have figured this out. Others see a car on the drive (I don't use the car for work anyway).  This means that quite a few of my neighbours have me as a drop off point while they work (this isn't a formal arrangement). What does annoy me is when they don't come round and pick it up straight away, some have been know to wait days!

The thing is when I receive a parcel and I'm not in it always ends up back at the depot with the smiley happy people. It's a real pain in the arse to go down and pick it up.