IN DEFENCE OF THE HUMBLE TEAPOT

rinks say a lot about people. The choice of beverage a person makes can reveal aspects of lifestyle and personality that other things just don't. But this post isn't about energy drinks or your choice of alcoholic tipple. It's about that age-old question: tea or coffee?

​I come across many people in my daily life, and something I've noticed over the years is that coffee drinkers are steadily increasing. It's probably fuelled by the rise of high-street coffee shops and the improving quality of the brown-bean-based drink. What I have noticed, though, is how precious some people get about their brew. They'll pay through the nose for a cup out, and drop hundreds of pounds on a machine just to make the "perfect" cup at home.

​So why, as a tea drinker, do people roll their eyes when I tell them I mash my perfect cup using loose-leaf tea in a teapot? I'm not against the humble teabag, but when I'm at home, I love to mash a proper cup of tea in my favourite mug using my go-to blend—yes, I have a special blend I buy mail order. But what's the difference? I paid £15 for my teapot, compared to the hundreds those eye-rollers pay for a coffee maker.

​Tea has been the staple drink of the British for hundreds of years, and while overall volume has dropped off in recent years, the focus on quality is up. People are seeking out better blends and speciality teas, so while overall consumption is down, market revenues are actually up. The standard, cheap cuppa has fallen out of favour—especially with the younger generation—but it is far from dead.

​Similarly, the humble cuppa has fared badly on the high street. Comedian Dave Gorman famously nailed the absurd logic of the modern cafe menu in an episode of Modern Life is Goodish—you can watch his clip on why buying a cup of tea is so expensive on YouTube—where he dissected how coffee culture inadvertently ruined buying a cup of tea.

​"While a £3.50 flat white requires a £5,000 espresso machine and a trained barista, a cup of tea relies on a fraction-of-a-penny teabag in hot water."

— Dave Gorman

​To justify charging coffee prices for something so intrinsically cheap to make, venues began surrounding tea with elaborate theatre—wooden boards, sand timers, and mini cast-iron pots. It’s a hilarious observation, but it exposes a genuine shift in British drinking habits.

​For me, coffee is simply not an option. I hate the taste, and I find the smell completely repulsive. That's just me—my dad is a coffee person, so it isn't an upbringing thing. I just don't like it.

​So, I will continue to enjoy my regular cup of tea made in my teapot. I'll complain like the grumpy old man I am at the prices in cafes, but I'll never not be a tea drinker. Roll your eyes all you want.

The spirit of the Urban Viking—and the occasional absurdity of navigating the modern world—lives on in my webcomic, Northman. 

You can read the latest chapter here: northman.kirt.me.uk

I’ll be sharing more of my journey and the daily reality of staying grounded in the modern world over on social media. Join in.

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