It's become a bit of a tradition now, I check out the televisual offerings armed with the festive double issue of the Radio Times and a highlighter pen. Then I share my favourite upcoming delights...
So here's the rules;
No films (although feature length 'made for TV' are fine).
Festive fayre is preferred but not essential.
Nothing that would ordinarily be in the schedule unless it's a festive special.
Saturday 19th December
Here goes... It's not a great start but it's still early. All I can find to watch is a couple of classics. You can't beat a bit of Porridge BBC2 17:25 (I think I picked the same episode last year too) but if you fancy laughing at a grumpy old bloke my Captain's pick for today has to be One Foot in the Grave BBC4 21:20.
Sunday 20th December
I'm going a bit highbrow today with a literary pick; Mrs Dickens's Family Christmas BBC4 19:00 sees Dickins through the eyes of his wife.
On the other end of the spectrum there's Gordon, Gino and Fred: Desperately Seeking Santa ITV 22:35.
Monday 21th December
I love this Ben Elton comedy and this year we don't only just have a festive special, it's topical too (sort of). Upstart Crow: Lockdown Christmas 1603 BBC2 21:00 is my Captain's pick for Monday. If you liked yesterday's Dickins offering try
Charles Dickens and the Invention of Christmas BBC4 20:00.
Comedy panel show anyone? Eight out of Ten Cats Does Countdown CH4 21:00 and There's Something about Christmas Movies SKY1 20:00.
Tuesday 22nd December
The talent involved in getting things deliberately wrong must be emense, these guys are the masters; The Goes Wrong Show: the Nativity BBC1 19:00 - if you've never seen them before look it up on iPlayer. A truly deserving Captain's pick.
Wednesday 23rd December
One of the biggest sitcoms of the last couple of years gets its first seasonal special and is my Captain's pick, check out Ghosts: the Ghost of Christmas BBC1 20:30. My favourite comedy panel show gets its special tonight - QI: Rejoice! BBC2 21:30 but if you are looking for fantasy try After Ever After: Jack and the Beanstalk Sky One 20:00, not sure what to expect but it has peeked my interest.
If you haven't caught The Vicar of Dibley in Lockdown theres an ominous of these special shorts tonight on BBC1 23:50.
Christmas Eve
This was brilliant last year so I've got high hopes for Worzel Gummidge: Saucy Nancy BBC1 17:55 and if you're still in the mood Roald & Beatrix: The Tail Of The Curious Mouse Sky One 20:00.
More comedy panel show fun with Would I Lie to You at Christmas BBC1 19:45 and Have I Got 30 Years for You BBC1 22:15 - a look back at the daddy of all comedy panel shows.
Get your mouth watering for those festive goodies by indulging in The Great Christmas Bake Off CH4 19:40.
Christmas Day
Whatever you have planned on this maddest of festive seasons I hope you haven't planned to watch TV on the big day. If you have you might want to fire up the streaming services or get out the DVDs.
All I have for you is a little devisive and if I'm honest the format has become a bit tired of you ask me. But there is little choice, my Captain's pick today is Mrs Brown's Boys BBC1 22:00.
Boxing Day
It's not the Yuletide season without the Big Fat Quiz of the Year CH4 21:05, this year might be a bit different though.
The Repair Shop at Christmas BBC1 18:45 is guaranteed to be heartwarming and the perfect accompaniment to those leftovers.
The Middle Bit...
I am one of those that returns to work in the middle bit, doesn't mean I can't enjoy a bit of telly.
Richard Osman's Christmas House of Games Night BBC1 Monday 19:00
Charlie Booker's Antiviral Wipe BBC2 Monday 21:30
Not Going Out BBC1 Wednesday 21:00 followed by Pandemonium BBC1 21:45.
New Year's Eve
I have no idea what this night will look like but if you find we are not allowed to celebrate you might fancy watching some topical comedy like say The Last Leg of the Year CH4 21:00?
New Year's Day
Just like last year, the first order of business on this, the first day of the year has to be Doctor Who: Revolution of the Daleks BBC1 18:45 - after all, it's what we've all been waiting for right?
If you're still up it's worth checking out Frankie Boyle's 2020 New World Order BBC2 22:00 - easily shocked? Avoid.
You may have noticed that ITV barely features in my choices, that's because their seasonal offerings are wank this year.
Streaming
I think it's worth mentioning some of the festive treats on the streaming platforms:
We'll start with something new from Pixar premiering on Christmas Day, Soul on Disney+.
Christmas Chronicles 2 on Netflix is the sequel of the successful 2018 offering.
Also check out
Jingle Jangle on Netflix
Klaus on Netflix and
Noelle on Disney+
So that's my analysis of the Yuletide offering, enjoy.
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