1204.28 TURNING POINT

I've hinted before about some of the dark times we as a family have been through over the last few years. Recently I find it has been hitting me hard, although I've done my best to hide the effects I can no longer afford to keep kidding myself. Comfort eating, laziness and general apathy cannot continue. Even my cycling has dropped off to bare minimum. My weight has increased although I'm not near my heaviest if things don't change then it won't be long. Also my family history means I have to watch myself, weight gain could be fatal and I need to take that more seriously instead of putting it off until 'tomorrow'. Today needs to be my turning point. I've done it before, I can do it again... 

1204.26 THANK YOU VERY MUCH

This time tomorrow I will be reunited with my Morticia. For the last 2 weeks I've been a single father whilst my good lady has been on holiday in the United States of America, to be more exact Memphis on a pilgrimage with her mother to the land of Elvis.

I've never seen what the big deal with Elvis or the industry that has grown up following his demise. As a Star Trek fan I'm the last one to cast aspersions on any one's obsessions and I'm not about to start.

She flew out a week last Monday, we've been separated before but never in our lives (and I'm talking about the time before we were even together) have this many miles been between us. Her plane landed on Tuesday morning but has been staying with her mother mainly because of the difficulty picking her up midweek, and to give her a chance to get over the jetlag. 

I've missed her terribly and I've realised that she is the one that keeps me in line. You hear all the time about people's other halves, it's no exaggeration. She's my everything and it shouldn't take being apart for me to realise and appreciate her. I can't wait until tomorrow.  

1203.25 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA

When I was a kid I remember watching Battlestar Galactica, it was the early 80s and I was (and still am) sci fi mad, these were the days of Star Wars, Star Trek was back and Buck Rodgers was having his adventures in the 25th century.

I was overjoyed in 2003 when the re imagined mini series came to our small screens. I avidly watched the 1st season of the newly commissioned TV series. Unfortunately because of my shift patterns and the fact that no one in my household would entertain it for me, I lost my way and gave up trying to catch up.

I had to wait for Sky+ and for re runs to be able to complete my viewing, I started again from episode 1. It was worth the wait, what an epic series, twist and turns, mysteries and enigmas abound and for once a solid proper conclusion. I need to buy myself the box sets now.

1203.18 DAYTRIP TO WHITBY

I've never been to Whitby.

Hard to believe that I have lived over 40 years without visiting this fine seaside town. So when we were deciding what to do on Mother's day this year we decided to rectify this (Morticia has never been also and really fancied a day out to the coast) and head north to the town famous for whaling (in the past), Captain Cook, fish & chips and Goths.

Arriving we found that lots of others had the same idea. The town was packed and finding a parking space was difficult. We managed to find a car park with a few spaces left.

I wasn't sure what to expect, what I found wasn't the traditional seaside resort. Sure there were arcades and bars, ice creams but the feel of the place was distinctly different. The shops obviously took advantage of the gothic, there were some fun and interesting things on offer.

Highlight of the day was fish & chips in one of the many fish & chip restaurants. I didn't go with any recommendations so I think we were lucky to pick a good one, Robertson's Fish Restaurant.

We had a much needed family day out, it was like a relief from the stressful times behind us and I hope a turning point as we move forward together as a family.

As we (or I) drove into the sunset, well sort of, I took a slight detour through Scarborough, a place I knew very well. A place with a lifetime of memories.

We all said we must visit Whitby again someday.

1203.06 DAD

Some years ago I fell out with my dad (or he fell out with me). This lead to becoming estranged from my family, as time progressed I realised that the damage grew deeper with every passing year and I faced up to the reality that I may never speak to them again.

Things changed at the end of last year. My uncle died at a very young age which shocked the whole family. At the funeral my dad spoke to me, we agreed that life was indeed too short and that the situation has to change. A few weeks later I visited my parents and spoke at length about the things I believed led to our estrangement. We ironed a lot out and a few weeks later (delayed because of other events, see previous post) they came over to our house to visit, and re-get to know their grand-children.

Tonight we all went out for a meal at Meadow Farm, one of our favourite eateries. All went well and the feeling I feel at having my parents back in my life is truly indescribable. It's still early days but I have high hopes for the future.

1203.01 HOW LOW CAN I GO?

I haven't blogged for a while. There's a good reason for that,  life recently has been hard, there has been issues and trouble abound. I'm not going to go into detail about it, that's personal stuff that isn't really for sharing. All I'll say is that the last month has been a very dark time for our family. We've asked for help.  But it's yet to materialise despite being promised. I'm struggling day to day even though I try to put a brave front up, sometimes I wonder how I will get through or if all this effort is worthwhile. Then I look at my family and realise that they are the reason I do this and we are worth saving.

1201.13 UNCLE ADRIAN

Today we said goodbye to Uncle Adrian, he passed away between Christmas and New Year. I haven't seen him for a number of years but we had reconnected on Facebook in recent times. I have many memories and he was an integral part of my childhood, the summers at my Nan and Grandad's house.

He's passed at 47, all I feel is that he was taken too soon. No parent should outlive their child, I can't imagine what my Nan must be going through. At the funeral today I looked on at his wife and daughters and tried to imagine what impact it would have on my girls if it were me after all I am 40, not much younger.

Funerals are a chance to say goodbye but they are also a very selfish time, you think of how you will miss the person and how your life will be affected. As it should be.

If there is one good thing to come from his passing it is that I spoke to my father for the first time in many years, we've been estranged for such a long time. Maybe we have a chance to put the past behind us?

After all life is too short...

1201.01 HAPPY NEW YEAR

I'd be lying if I said 2011 had been good to us. Yes there has been some good times but we've had some hard times too. Now is the time to look forward, not back. We begin this new journey as usual at Morticia's mother's in St Neots over a few beers.

Our eldest continues to be our greatest challenge at this moment, the mission to keep her on the right path. I start the year with a wish to rebuild the lost relationship with my parents and to strengthen my family.

As I tap this entry I finish off my last beer of the evening/morning and my thoughts turn to my Uncle Adrian who passed away yesterday (1112.30) suddenly aged just 47. I'm still in shock about his passing.

1112.28 EXCESS

Now that all that Christmas malarkey is over it's time to deal with the aftermath. Putting the decorations away is a mammoth undertaking that if not done right means more work and messing about come December when they emerge again.

Of course the bills have to be paid, a month or more of overspending needs to be addressed. Then there is the personal over indulgences, a few weeks of over eating and drinking can mean all sorts of issues if not sorted come January.

1112.25 CAPTAIN'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

Every year is a journey to this table, the Christmas dinner table. This year I'm thankful that we all, the 4 of us, made it. There were many times along the way when I thought we weren't going to make it through. 

There have been some real difficult times again this year, Morticia's condition doesn't get better but I do feel sometimes we are learning how to cope. Her disability was at last officially recognised which meant we could get a little help. 

Our eldest daughter has also been the cause of many sleepless nights. Getting her back in line has been a major priority this year. We still have a way to go but hopefully we are on the right track. 

Highlights include our holiday to Wales as usual. It never fails, the place is almost magical. I also got a new bike, after year of wanting and striving I made it happen.

Anyway, now is the time to be thankful for what we've got and to get on with enjoying the season.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL MY FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOLLOWERS, SUBSCRIBERS AND MINIONS.