1208.10 BIG DAY OUT

As part of our learning to function together as a family and to put behind us all that has happened recently we decided to go out for the afternoon. We visited Sheffield City Centre to see the golden post box (in honour of the Olympic gold medal winner, Jessica Ennis) and to see the 'Sheffield by the sea' event (an idea they blatantly ripped off from Rotherham).

We had a great trip, afterwards we called at Meadowhall for a bit of tea and a spot of light shopping. Morticia by this time was really struggling to get around so we decided to head home.

1208.07 CYCLING GOLD

Olympic cycling has been the one thing that has gotten me through the last week and a bit. Today was the last day in the velodrome.

Victoria Pendleton was robbed of a potential gold medal by a very controversial decision by the officials, it was the second time in the games that she had been on the receiving end of their interpretation of the rules. She won silver in the women sprint which was the last medal of her professional career.

Laura Trott and the legendary Sir Chris Hoy (in his last appearance at the Olympics) both took gold in the Omnium and Kerin (respectively). Chris is now the most successful British Olympian after exceeding Sir Steve Redgrave (who was on hand at the velodrome to congratulate him).

1208.06 SICKNOTE

I haven't visited a doctor for years for myself. It was a strange experience to go today and lay it all out, my problems and fears, the fact I'm not sleeping properly and the way I feel about life at the moment. I did this depression test which I scored highly on (although the doctor recognised this was due to my situation rather than me suffering from full on depression). She was a very kind and understanding doctor and it did feel good to get things off my chest. She offered me drugs to help me but stated that they had addictive qualities, I declined these but she signed me off work for 2 weeks and referred me to a 'wellbeing practitioner'.

I don't know where I'd be without the Olympic Cycling over this period, for a brief time I've allowed myself to try and escape the reality of the situation and lose myself in the sport.

This evening our Team GB cyclists scored yet another gold when Jason Kenny triumphed in the Individual Sprint, well done.

1208.04 A WEEK OF HELL

It's been a week since my daughter walked out of the door. It's been indescribable, I haven't worked, I have barely slept and I've had a headache for days (no painkillers seem to have an effect). I spoke to my parents today at our house, I'm not sure where we go from here.

Another gold in cycling gave me a little lift this afternoon. The Olympics are the only thing keeping me going throughout all this.

1208.04 SHEFFIELD GOLD

Well done Jessica Ennis on her gold medal.

1208.03 MY HELL (part 4)

Tomorrow it will have been a week since my eldest daughter stormed out of the house following an argument regarding the company she has been keeping and her attitude / lies. I am hiding from the world, not taking phonecalls or responding to texts unless they are from my parents (who have unwittingly become dragged into this by my daughter turning up on their doorstep). The only thing that is getting me through is the Olympic cycling, it's providing me with a diversion and somewhere to bury my head.

1208.02 MY HELL (part 3)

Not sure what is happening. My parents are taking it really slow which in turn makes the whole situation more difficult for us. I don't know what will happen in the next few days but I do know that it is those days which will determine the long term picture. My parents are jeopardising the good work in rebuilding our relationship following years of estrangement by potentially going against our rules and giving our daughter 'asylum'.

I am still too worked up to return to work but I must soon face up to going back. My mind has difficulty concentrating at the moment, it always dwells on the current situation.

I watched the Olympic cycling again (track action this time in the velodrome) by means of a diversion. I enjoyed watching our successes with Chris Hoy, Phillip Hindes and Jason Kenny in the men's team sprint. Disappointed for Victoria Pendleton when she and her team mate were relegated following an illegal overtake.

1208.01 MY HELL (continued)

We are still not a family. My heart lays heavy with the pain of our separation. I had a long conversation with my dad last night on the phone. I laid it all on the line telling him everything about the last 3 years and in particular the last 12 months. The hell that I put forward I think shocked him, having said that I haven't heard anything since.

There has been some light in my darkness. I allowed myself a couple of hours to immerse myself in the Olympic cycling, in particular the men's road time trial. What a result, I am so proud to be a British Cyclist - Well done to Bradley Wiggins (gold) and Chris Froome (bronze).