1208.06 SICKNOTE

I haven't visited a doctor for years for myself. It was a strange experience to go today and lay it all out, my problems and fears, the fact I'm not sleeping properly and the way I feel about life at the moment. I did this depression test which I scored highly on (although the doctor recognised this was due to my situation rather than me suffering from full on depression). She was a very kind and understanding doctor and it did feel good to get things off my chest. She offered me drugs to help me but stated that they had addictive qualities, I declined these but she signed me off work for 2 weeks and referred me to a 'wellbeing practitioner'.

I don't know where I'd be without the Olympic Cycling over this period, for a brief time I've allowed myself to try and escape the reality of the situation and lose myself in the sport.

This evening our Team GB cyclists scored yet another gold when Jason Kenny triumphed in the Individual Sprint, well done.

1208.04 A WEEK OF HELL

It's been a week since my daughter walked out of the door. It's been indescribable, I haven't worked, I have barely slept and I've had a headache for days (no painkillers seem to have an effect). I spoke to my parents today at our house, I'm not sure where we go from here.

Another gold in cycling gave me a little lift this afternoon. The Olympics are the only thing keeping me going throughout all this.

1208.04 SHEFFIELD GOLD

Well done Jessica Ennis on her gold medal.

1208.03 MY HELL (part 4)

Tomorrow it will have been a week since my eldest daughter stormed out of the house following an argument regarding the company she has been keeping and her attitude / lies. I am hiding from the world, not taking phonecalls or responding to texts unless they are from my parents (who have unwittingly become dragged into this by my daughter turning up on their doorstep). The only thing that is getting me through is the Olympic cycling, it's providing me with a diversion and somewhere to bury my head.

1208.02 MY HELL (part 3)

Not sure what is happening. My parents are taking it really slow which in turn makes the whole situation more difficult for us. I don't know what will happen in the next few days but I do know that it is those days which will determine the long term picture. My parents are jeopardising the good work in rebuilding our relationship following years of estrangement by potentially going against our rules and giving our daughter 'asylum'.

I am still too worked up to return to work but I must soon face up to going back. My mind has difficulty concentrating at the moment, it always dwells on the current situation.

I watched the Olympic cycling again (track action this time in the velodrome) by means of a diversion. I enjoyed watching our successes with Chris Hoy, Phillip Hindes and Jason Kenny in the men's team sprint. Disappointed for Victoria Pendleton when she and her team mate were relegated following an illegal overtake.

1208.01 MY HELL (continued)

We are still not a family. My heart lays heavy with the pain of our separation. I had a long conversation with my dad last night on the phone. I laid it all on the line telling him everything about the last 3 years and in particular the last 12 months. The hell that I put forward I think shocked him, having said that I haven't heard anything since.

There has been some light in my darkness. I allowed myself a couple of hours to immerse myself in the Olympic cycling, in particular the men's road time trial. What a result, I am so proud to be a British Cyclist - Well done to Bradley Wiggins (gold) and Chris Froome (bronze).

1207.31 MY HELL

I thought things were too good to be true. On Saturday the walls of my life started to crumble. My eldest daughter walked out of our house following an argument, she ended up at my parents where she remains. Despite my explaining the history and situation to them I don't believe that they appreciate the gravity of the situation.

I haven't heard anything for 2 days. Does she still live here?

1207.22 LE TOUR HISTORIQUE

As I sit here in my mother in law's house I am still in awe in what I just witnessed. History has been made today by a cyclist over 100 miles away from where I sit. I just watched the final stage of the 99th Tour de France where British rider Bradley Wiggins has just become the first Briton to win the Yellow Jersey. It was also an awesome sight to see one of my favourite cyclists, Mark Cavendish take the stage on the Champs Élysées for a fourth consecutive year. It's something I will always remember, history was written today and a chap with a down to earth charm and distinctive sideburns became a legend.

1206.13 RED TAILS

ACTION PACKED AIRBORNE ADVENTURE WITH HISTORICAL OVERTONES.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0485985/

1206.05 JUBILEE

I wasn't too bothered about the up and coming Diamond Jubilee celebrations at least until the event came along. We didn't attend any events (mainly because there was very little locally). I did find myself being carried forward with the wave of patriotism and national pride, hey they even gave me a medal.