1807.05 HAPPY BIRTHDAY NHS

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A British Institution, often maligned and taken for granted, this week this pillar of our society turned 70. I thought I'd look how this amazing organisation has touched my life.

1803.13 GET WELL SOON NAN

Yesterday I went to visit my Nan in the hospital. She'd had a fall at the weekend and fractured her arm and hip. She's in her 80s and a little frail these days. I was worried what I would find when I visited her.

1410.28 DUTY CALLS

It's been 2 months of long and painful recovery.  Finally tomorrow I return to work,  at least in a light form. Today I went to see the consultant at the hospital who cleared me for light duties. I have begun physiotherapy and have been promised a painful journey to recovery (lovely). 

I am a little apprehensive about my return,  I've not kept up to speed with the goings on and only had minimal contact with my colleagues. Whilst convalescing I've not shaved so I'm looking a little like Grizzly Adams (again I'm showing my age). I'm not like a lot of blokes that look rugged with a beard, I tend to look more homeless than manly when I sport anything more than a goatee. 

Question is do I shave before I return or use it as an indicator of my full recovery later along? Morticia hates beards as a rule and complains regularly about my 'grizzly' look.

1409.21 I'M H-A-P-P-Y

I'm writing this whilst sitting in a chair next to my hospital bed in Kepple Ward of Rotherham General Hospital. I came in yesterday for surgery to fix my shoulder following a cycling accident 2 weeks ago.

The surgery was a doddle, I woke up in recovery with a completely numb arm and shoulder. I thought I'd probably sleep the majority of the rest of the day but surprisingly I felt quite alert. It was a good job I'd downloaded a couple of films onto my Nexus tablet.

Then came the longest night. They turned the lights off about half 10 (22:30) and I finished off my film. It was when I took out my earphones and settled down to sleep the problems started. The guy on the end bed (I'm in the far right corner) kept squealing in pain and the old chap next to me began snoring. I've slept through worse to I settled down best I could. I just began to doze when a nurse came to administer anti-biotic into the port in my left hand. Then at about half past midnight they brought in another patient who they placed diagonally opposite me. Staff were buzzing around him with a light above his bed and noisy diagnostic machines buzzing and beeping. After they left him he began to snore like a warthog.

With the sounds of other patients plus the staff dealing with other patients' needs added to the warm temperature of the ward meant a really poor night's sleep. I awoke at 6am when I believe there was a shift change. I was in a bit of pain and really uncomfortable. At half past a nurse came to check my vitals. I decided I might as well get up so got out of bed and read a magazine. The medication trolley came around and I got 2 caplets, 2 tiny pills and a giant pink one. Since then I've felt loads better. The tea trolley, which is a definite highlight, came half an hour ago and also breakfast shortly after (bran flakes).

I'm looking forward to going home (later today) and sleeping properly. Hopefully I'll be fully fit quickly, I have a bike gathering dust.

Note: The title of this entry may not be understood by younger readers. It refers to the theme song to a sitcom from the 80s set in a hospital.

1409.06 A PROPER CYCLIST

They say you aren't a proper cyclist until you've broken your collarbone. Well thanks to some knobhead running out in front of me whilst riding home from work on Thursday night I can now say I'm a proper cyclist.

I was last out of the office as usual, it had been an uneventful afters shift and as I was wheeling my bike out of the bike shed I contemplated the route home. Most of the week I've only cycled the minimum (there & back) so I chose my evening alternative route which gives me a couple of extra 'k's with the option of a nice little climb at the end.

The ride starts with a decent towards the city centre, I'd manage to safely get past the deadly tram tracks (a cyclists' nemesis) and was descending at a steady pace when without warning a man walked out into the road, into my path. He turned to look at me, I think at that point he'd not noticed me before. I think I shouted out as I squeezed the brakes and pushed my bodyweight towards the rear but it was all so fast I'm not 100% sure. I felt the impact but at first thought I was going to be OK and push thro him. Then I went down, I just remember rolling on the road and seeing my front wheel flying through the air. I remember seeing that the wheel was bent and my heart sinking that my bike was not getting out of this unscathed.

I don't know exactly how long it took me to pick myself off the road, I became aware of pain in my shoulder. Suddenly there were people around me asking if I was OK. I saw the other guy get up, pick up his baseball cap up off the road and bugger off swiftly. I wasn't in a position to do anything about that.

There was one lady who was very helpful and a bloke who had a van who ran me home with my bike. I lost my water bottle and my glasses (which were thrown from my face) were crushed by a passing taxi.

Once home it became obvious that something wasn't right with my shoulder so Morticia took me over to A & E to get it checked out. I arrived at the hospital about 22:30. I wasn't seen until about 3:30am! It was then I got the bad news about the break. It feels like I've only just gotten over the collision last year and now I'm back to square one.

1402.05 MEXICAN ARM WRESTLE

It's been 103 days since my accident and since I last rode a bike.

For the past 6 weeks or so I've been having regular physio sessions at Rotherham General Hospital. Last week I was told my strength had come a long way (not up to previous levels though) and my movement had 'plateaued' and as such there was little more she could do for me. At that point she discharged me.

So that is it?

Tomorrow I'll be attending the Fracture clinic where I expect the consultant to discharge me. So now I'm on my own, I don't have full movement, I have a loss of feeling in my fingers and a numb spot around my scar. I guess I have to learn to live with it.

1311.18 DIS-ARMED

If you know me on social media platforms then you'll know what happened to me last week. Wednesday morning I was all set to set off on my cycle to work at 07:00 when I noticed that the back tyre was flat. I sent a text to my supervisor at work just to inform him that I was going to be late. I fixed the flat and gave the bike a once over before setting off.

I only got as far as the main road 'round the corner when, whilst stationery, giving way to traffic I was hit from behind by a car. The bike was totalled and I was left with severe pain in my right arm. I called work to let them know of my further delay and got myself to A & E.

When I got to the reception desk I could feel the effects of shock kicking in, I struggled with some of my personal details (I couldn't for the life of me remember my post code). I'm not sure how long I was there for but following an x-ray, consultation, plaster cast, further x-ray, I was allowed home but asked to return the next day. My arm / wrist was broken.

My consultation the next day revealed the extent of the damage and the possibility of surgery. I was told to expect a phone call the next day inviting me in for a CT scan and was also asked to go 'nil by mouth' in case I needed surgery that afternoon.

Next day I had the CT scan and sent home.

A phone call from the hospital that afternoon, I was asked to come in to hospital on Sunday morning to speak to the surgeon with a view to having the operation later that day. I got into hospital and was given a bed, I even got to speak to the surgeon. Unfortunately I was sent home with a view to getting surgery either Tuesday or Thursday.

It's now Monday night and tomorrow I must go 'nil by mouth' for a fourth time whilst I wait for a phone call.