THE WILL TO RETURN: TRADING TWO WHEELS FOR THE BUS

fter three weeks of forced rest following my accident, I had determined that getting back to work had to happen, even if I was nowhere near 100%. Making the leap back to routine was less a sprint and more of a tentative hobble. On Thursday (27th), my bike—still out of action after the RTC—was replaced. I traded two wheels for a slightly daunting ride on public transport.

ULLR'S ICY GRIP: FROM SORE TO SWORDS

he temperature is dropping swiftly, and the frosty fingers of Ullr are touching every corner of our land. It’s exactly the kind of cold evening I love—but I find myself tragically trapped indoors by injury. I miss that simple ritual: wrapping up warm, grabbing my dog, and heading out into the dark, chilly night. This feeling of confinement is a powerful reminder that our journey through this cold and dark time of year is only just beginning.

DOWN IN A SPLIT SECOND: THE CRASH

n Wednesday 5th November, I left work on my bike to ride home. Some had expressed concern about the potential for issues, with youths known for throwing fireworks, but I wasn't deterred—this wasn't my first rodeo. So, at 10 pm, I rode into the night.

1410.29 THE BIG RETURN

I've been unlucky to say the least the last few years. This has resulted in 3 significant sickness periods from work for me, the first being depression resulting from family issues and the other 2 being cycling related collisions resulting in broken bones and hospitalisation. Today I finally return to work following the 3rd of these occurrences.

I've spoke to my supervisor at work yesterday to sort out the details of my return and was told to "get in when you can". I decided that the best time would be 09:30 - 10:00 as that is when the office would be the quietest.

08:54 - I'm on the bus (cycling not an option yet) heading to Sheffield City Centre, it turned up 15 minutes late but I'm not on a deadline so not too concerned.

09:06 - The transfer to my 2nd bus in the old market area (now abandoned, awaiting demolition) was swift which I was glad about since its not a nice place to be waiting in these days (even in the morning). I'm now hurtling up to where my workplace sits on top of the hill. It's almost like starting a new job, I'm actually feeling quite nervous!

10:01 - I've had my return to work interview and we've drawn up a plan for the next month. Now I have 2 months of emails to go through.

14:01 - My first day is over and I'm on my way home. I'm on a graduated reintroduction and light duties for at least the next month. I'm glad I'm back and am looking forward to restoring this aspect of my life.

1410.28 DUTY CALLS

It's been 2 months of long and painful recovery.  Finally tomorrow I return to work,  at least in a light form. Today I went to see the consultant at the hospital who cleared me for light duties. I have begun physiotherapy and have been promised a painful journey to recovery (lovely). 

I am a little apprehensive about my return,  I've not kept up to speed with the goings on and only had minimal contact with my colleagues. Whilst convalescing I've not shaved so I'm looking a little like Grizzly Adams (again I'm showing my age). I'm not like a lot of blokes that look rugged with a beard, I tend to look more homeless than manly when I sport anything more than a goatee. 

Question is do I shave before I return or use it as an indicator of my full recovery later along? Morticia hates beards as a rule and complains regularly about my 'grizzly' look.

1410.26 OUT OF SHAPE

My recuperation has had another side effect on me. One I had to deal with the last time I was injured. Whilst recuperating I've been pretty inactive which has meant that love put on a bit of weight (OK maybe its a lot), I'm not sure how much since we don't own weighing scales, if I did I think I'd be scared to use them. I'm also finding myself making excuses not to get on the bike, it's obvious that there is a psychological element I need to get over.

1409.21 I'M H-A-P-P-Y

I'm writing this whilst sitting in a chair next to my hospital bed in Kepple Ward of Rotherham General Hospital. I came in yesterday for surgery to fix my shoulder following a cycling accident 2 weeks ago.

The surgery was a doddle, I woke up in recovery with a completely numb arm and shoulder. I thought I'd probably sleep the majority of the rest of the day but surprisingly I felt quite alert. It was a good job I'd downloaded a couple of films onto my Nexus tablet.

Then came the longest night. They turned the lights off about half 10 (22:30) and I finished off my film. It was when I took out my earphones and settled down to sleep the problems started. The guy on the end bed (I'm in the far right corner) kept squealing in pain and the old chap next to me began snoring. I've slept through worse to I settled down best I could. I just began to doze when a nurse came to administer anti-biotic into the port in my left hand. Then at about half past midnight they brought in another patient who they placed diagonally opposite me. Staff were buzzing around him with a light above his bed and noisy diagnostic machines buzzing and beeping. After they left him he began to snore like a warthog.

With the sounds of other patients plus the staff dealing with other patients' needs added to the warm temperature of the ward meant a really poor night's sleep. I awoke at 6am when I believe there was a shift change. I was in a bit of pain and really uncomfortable. At half past a nurse came to check my vitals. I decided I might as well get up so got out of bed and read a magazine. The medication trolley came around and I got 2 caplets, 2 tiny pills and a giant pink one. Since then I've felt loads better. The tea trolley, which is a definite highlight, came half an hour ago and also breakfast shortly after (bran flakes).

I'm looking forward to going home (later today) and sleeping properly. Hopefully I'll be fully fit quickly, I have a bike gathering dust.

Note: The title of this entry may not be understood by younger readers. It refers to the theme song to a sitcom from the 80s set in a hospital.

1409.06 A PROPER CYCLIST

They say you aren't a proper cyclist until you've broken your collarbone. Well thanks to some knobhead running out in front of me whilst riding home from work on Thursday night I can now say I'm a proper cyclist.

I was last out of the office as usual, it had been an uneventful afters shift and as I was wheeling my bike out of the bike shed I contemplated the route home. Most of the week I've only cycled the minimum (there & back) so I chose my evening alternative route which gives me a couple of extra 'k's with the option of a nice little climb at the end.

The ride starts with a decent towards the city centre, I'd manage to safely get past the deadly tram tracks (a cyclists' nemesis) and was descending at a steady pace when without warning a man walked out into the road, into my path. He turned to look at me, I think at that point he'd not noticed me before. I think I shouted out as I squeezed the brakes and pushed my bodyweight towards the rear but it was all so fast I'm not 100% sure. I felt the impact but at first thought I was going to be OK and push thro him. Then I went down, I just remember rolling on the road and seeing my front wheel flying through the air. I remember seeing that the wheel was bent and my heart sinking that my bike was not getting out of this unscathed.

I don't know exactly how long it took me to pick myself off the road, I became aware of pain in my shoulder. Suddenly there were people around me asking if I was OK. I saw the other guy get up, pick up his baseball cap up off the road and bugger off swiftly. I wasn't in a position to do anything about that.

There was one lady who was very helpful and a bloke who had a van who ran me home with my bike. I lost my water bottle and my glasses (which were thrown from my face) were crushed by a passing taxi.

Once home it became obvious that something wasn't right with my shoulder so Morticia took me over to A & E to get it checked out. I arrived at the hospital about 22:30. I wasn't seen until about 3:30am! It was then I got the bad news about the break. It feels like I've only just gotten over the collision last year and now I'm back to square one.

1406.09 BACK ON THE IRON STEED

So the bike is functioning and I've started riding again. Up to now I've done a few decent commutes but nothing extraordinary. My first ride I pushed myself, perhaps a little too hard. I wanted to see what I still had. I did well considering the time I've been off the bike. At the end I felt physically exhausted but mentally I felt like I'd acheived a great deal. It was a hurdle I needed to get over, it would have been all to easy to stop. My wrist ached afterwards but that was to be expected and acording to my consultant nothing to worry about.

1402.05 MEXICAN ARM WRESTLE

It's been 103 days since my accident and since I last rode a bike.

For the past 6 weeks or so I've been having regular physio sessions at Rotherham General Hospital. Last week I was told my strength had come a long way (not up to previous levels though) and my movement had 'plateaued' and as such there was little more she could do for me. At that point she discharged me.

So that is it?

Tomorrow I'll be attending the Fracture clinic where I expect the consultant to discharge me. So now I'm on my own, I don't have full movement, I have a loss of feeling in my fingers and a numb spot around my scar. I guess I have to learn to live with it.

1312.25 THE CAPTAIN'S CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

Merry Christmas to All

Christmas again. It's been 12 months now since I saw my eldest daughter and the pain of that almost broke me this year. Every aspect of my life was effected by this loss and the damage will, I believe take many years to rebuild. It was sometime in September or October (I think) when something clicked inside and I started to pick up. I feel so much more positive than this time last year. A place will always be available to her in our home and our hearts should she decide to come home. The same cannot be said for my parents who turned their backs on us and refused to support us when we need them the most, the hurt I feel runs deep and I can't see a way back.

Like many, we have felt the pain of austerity imposed on us by the Tory coalition government. No real pay rise coupled with rising costs put paid to our annual holiday this year. All we managed was a day trip to Llandudno, it's the first time in 10 years that we haven't got to our beloved New Quay (Cei Newydd). I'm hoping something can be sorted out for next year, I can't imagine not going back again. We also visited Warner Bros Studios, Harry Potter Tour in Watford earlier in the year.

A new phone back in January changed my mobile window into the online world. The Nexus 4 converted me to Android in a big way and within the time I've had it (and my Nexus 7 tablet) I've learned so much about the art of customisation and automation, I now have brilliant LCARS styled Star Trek devices. They have given me so much fun this year.

My little girl started secondary school this year, I am so surprised at the way she has adapted to life at 'big school' and is doing really well there. I am so proud of her as she grows and becomes more indepenant. She has an active after school life and is at some extra curricular club most afternoons after the school day. She has been involved in performances and concerts over the festive period bringing joy and cheer to local people, shoppers, the elderly and even local dignitaries.

Cycling has always been a large part of my life. I credit it with keeping me together during the dark times. Watching pro cycling also gives me loads of pleasure too and I was thrilled by the 100th Tour de France, the whole race was amazing and topped off brilliantly with the victory of Chris Froome for the 2nd British Yellow Jersey in a row. I restored a vintage bike for use as a commute / hack bike to take the pressure off my Boardman which I spent quite a bit of money getting roadworthy. I signed up for a coast to coast ride for next year which is one of the biggies on my bucket list.

I was involved in two cycling accidents this year, the first was a minor fall whilst at work giving me a bit of soft tissue damage to my knee, I was back up and riding within 2 weeks. The other was about 6 weeks ago where my commute bike was hit by a car and my wrist was broken, the road to recovery promises to be hard and painful.

So what lays ahead for the up and coming year? Lots of physio, that's all I can foresee for the moment. The future is pretty much unknown to me. The ashes of my life lay around me and I have no idea what I need to do to rebuild and I am not giving it too much thought at this moment. I'm getting through a day at a time for the moment.

Merry Christmas to everyone, hope your day is spectacular.

1312.16 BIONIC HAND

So it's been almost a month since I finally got my surgery on my broken wrist following last month's cycling accident. On 1311.21 (21st Nov) I went in for day surgery (which I thought was wholly inappropriate for the kind of operation) to have a metal plate screwed into my wrist bone. The following Tuesday I said goodbye to the cast and am now sporting a wrist brace (which thankfully I can remove to wash and deal with itches).

I have limited movement and little strength in my right hand, I still can't write properly and drawing by hand isn't possible (although I can do a little on my computer).

So I'm off work until the new year which may sound good but the boredom aspect isn't great. How the long term sick or unemployed manage is beyond me. Have you watched daytime TV for a prolonged time? I'm surprised how bad most of it is and how much it repeats itself. I eagerly await the Christmas schedules.

Time is dragging on the run up to the big day as if I was a child, only I'm not excited like a child. My main hobbies have been cruelly taken from me so I spend my days watching Netflix or TV. Occasionally I'll get out and walk but it's cold and unpleasant out there so I limit myself to a couple of half hour strolls a day.

The very neat scar on my wrist, when the hair grows back you won't see it.

1311.18 DIS-ARMED

If you know me on social media platforms then you'll know what happened to me last week. Wednesday morning I was all set to set off on my cycle to work at 07:00 when I noticed that the back tyre was flat. I sent a text to my supervisor at work just to inform him that I was going to be late. I fixed the flat and gave the bike a once over before setting off.

I only got as far as the main road 'round the corner when, whilst stationery, giving way to traffic I was hit from behind by a car. The bike was totalled and I was left with severe pain in my right arm. I called work to let them know of my further delay and got myself to A & E.

When I got to the reception desk I could feel the effects of shock kicking in, I struggled with some of my personal details (I couldn't for the life of me remember my post code). I'm not sure how long I was there for but following an x-ray, consultation, plaster cast, further x-ray, I was allowed home but asked to return the next day. My arm / wrist was broken.

My consultation the next day revealed the extent of the damage and the possibility of surgery. I was told to expect a phone call the next day inviting me in for a CT scan and was also asked to go 'nil by mouth' in case I needed surgery that afternoon.

Next day I had the CT scan and sent home.

A phone call from the hospital that afternoon, I was asked to come in to hospital on Sunday morning to speak to the surgeon with a view to having the operation later that day. I got into hospital and was given a bed, I even got to speak to the surgeon. Unfortunately I was sent home with a view to getting surgery either Tuesday or Thursday.

It's now Monday night and tomorrow I must go 'nil by mouth' for a fourth time whilst I wait for a phone call.