BLOGGER, CARTOONIST, CYCLIST, BEARD OWNER & NORTHMAN

DESCENDED FROM NORSE KINGS & NORMAN INVADERS

Thursday, 6 October 2016

1610.06 NEW FIVER

Last month in the UK a new £5 banknote printed on polymer, a thin flexible plastic film, was issued. The new note bears the image of wartime leader Sir Winston Churchill on the reverse. The new note can apparently last about five years longer than paper notes and features loads of new security features, making the note extra hard to counterfeit. They include a see through window featuring the Queen’s portrait as well as the Elizabeth Tower (commonly mistakenly known as Big Ben) depicted in gold foil on the front of the note and silver on the back. The £5 will be joined shortly by new £10 and £20 notes which also will be printed on polymer.

Since the new notes came into circulation there has been a movement on social media under the hashtags of #firstfiver and #fivergiver to donate the first £5 note you receive to charity.
I got my first one this week and thought it was a great idea to give it away so I donated my first fiver to Action for ME, a life changing condition my wonderful Morticia has struggled with for almost 10 years.

Tuesday, 4 October 2016

1610.04 XV

My youngest daughter was born fifteen years ago this day.

Everything changed. Even though I had been a father for 5 years previous to that point I wasn't prepared for the difference Rags would make to my life.
Baby Rags with her big sister
She is wise beyond her years, she has a sense of fun than rivals anyone I know. She has intelligence and wit with a grounding that I envy.
Rags
She has grown into a beautiful young woman and I am immensely proud of her. Happy 15th birthday Rags. I love you with all my heart.

Saturday, 1 October 2016

1610.01 AUDIOHYPNO

Before I start I'd like to thank everyone for their kind words regarding my last couple of posts. I am feeling much better now, I know I've a long way to go and this isn't the last time I go to that dark place. For now I must get on with life and that's what I intend to do.

A couple of weeks ago Morticia visited a hypnotist with some friends with a view to losing a few pounds. She came away with a recording to play at night. I'm not an expert in such things but I've heard of these subliminal suggestion techniques but never had any experience of such things.

She started playing the recording before sleeping and of course this was the last thing I heard before sleeping. It was a woman telling her (and I guess me) to breath and relax, I'd be asleep before I heard anymore. I've no idea of the exact content of the recording.

On the days that followed I noticed I was snacking less and generally keeping within my calorie intake goals. I'm not actually on any sort of diet, I just like to monitor my food intake. Snacking has always been my biggest problem.

Then I had my 'blip' and Morticia didn't play the recording for a few days. I'm not sure if it's my mental well being or the absence of the recording but I've started to hit the Doritos pretty hard.
My Nemesis
There are too many variables to understand whether the hypnosis recording is having an effect or not but I do think it's worth more study. Morticia resumed playing the recording last night.

Tuesday, 27 September 2016

1609.27 THE VOID

Since 2012 I've lived with the darkness. It's always there like an unwanted stalker forever traveling with me. Back in 2012 I had a breakdown, since then I've had this companion who occasionally pushes me into a dark place, a void, a dark corridor full of locked doors. I have to traverse the whole thing to get back out into the light. But what if this time there is no light this time? It's this making sense?

Yesterday I almost deactivated my blog. I thought about deleting my Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. I came really close. It could still happen. The only reason I think I haven't was the words of my previous therapist who advised me to share my thoughts and that blogging was beneficial to my mental well-being. That's why I'm rambling on like this.

Hopefully I'll see you all on the other side. 

Sunday, 25 September 2016

1609.25 HEADSPACE

I get 1 weekend off in every 3 with my current shift pattern. This makes every weekend quite special. This weekend I planned to sort out a friend's wedding photos (a bit of photoshop tidying) and of course go cycling. Apart from that we were just going to relax as a family and spend time together.

My head had other ideas.

Yesterday my head felt like it was in a vice whilst being repeated hit on the forehead with a lump hammer. It was like a hangover without the pleasure of a night out. The unmistakable dark mist had descended over me. I couldn't explain the cause of was just there. I couldn't concentrate on the photos I was supposed to be working on. This morning I planned to go cycling with the club but after a night of nightmares and waking up feeling so much dread I didn't feel like going, so I didn't. Probably the worst decision I could have made, I spent the morning feeling guilt on top of everything else.
A photo posted by CaptainKirt™ (@captainkirt) on

Maybe it's because it's the end of summer? Maybe it's that my life feels like I'm just treading water? I don't always know why the darkness descends over me, I wish I did. This afternoon as I sat looking out of the window and 2 rainbows appeared. I took it as a sign that things are going to get better. It's the first positive thought I've had all weekend.

I know this post doesn't make much sense, I apologise for that but writing it down makes it easier for me to process it all. 

Wednesday, 21 September 2016

1609.21 PLUMGATE

Don't worry, whist this is a blog post about plums, it's not the plums you might be thinking of. These plums are mine but they are ones I purchased in our local Tesco store. 

I bought them the other day whilst shopping because they were £1. When I got home I noticed a discrepancy with the receipt. 


I'd been charged £1.50! Whist I was a little peeved about this it wasn't a massive deal, after all it was only 50p (I know that's a 50% overcharge but it's not a huge amount). I was still annoyed enough to fire off a tweet in Tescos direction. Along with the photo as evidence. 

They were very quick to respond and without quibble or question offered me double the difference (via a money card).


Tescos online customer service team, I have to say, have got it nailed. Fast, polite and not afraid to add a little personality either. Well done them! 

All I was really after was an apology and perhaps fixing the pricing issue so it didn't happen to anyone else. This morning I received my refund+ through the post.


Now what to spend my windfall on? A packet of ham? More plums? 

Monday, 19 September 2016

1609.19 HOLME MOSS CYCLING

Last year I did the 65 Roses Holme Moss Classic Sportive because I needed a challenge to help me come back from an injury. This year I just wanted to experience what I did last year.

There were no closed roads at the start for this year's ride so a mass start was out of the question for safety reasons. This meant that the start was a lot more subdued than last year.


My preparation for this ride has been poor and coming up to it I was a little apprehensive. Would I get round the course? Would I get up to the summit?

It seemed like forever riding out to get to to the exposed moors. It's then I first see the transmitter perched on top of Holme Moss. It doesn't look all that bad from here, I knew looks could be deceiving. My legs are already aching from the ride so far. When I arrive in Holmfirth, which some will remember as the location setting for the geriatric TV comedy "Last of the Summer Wine", I know the start of the main attraction isn't far. The hard climb through Holmbridge fools many into thinking that the main climb has started but this is just a prelude to the main event. It's here you first see your adversary in all it's glory. There's a slight rest bite before the main climb kicks in. It's time to give my all. The trick is to just slug away at it gently, keep it moving even when it feels like it's never going to end. There's a car park at the top. Many see it (as did I last year) and think it's the summit. It's not. There's still a bit left although the gradient eases off. I did it. I made it to the top of Holme Moss.
At the summit 
I treated myself to a small cake which I'd picked up at the feed station earlier. My legs were like jelly but I was only just over half way. Next was a massive decent followed by a long slog along Woodhead Pass. The road back wasn't smooth, there were still some climbs left. I picked up the pace on the last leg and it wasn't long before I was in Sheffield. As I hit the last 5k I started to cramp up in my legs, I though I was going to have problems but I managed to ride through.

I arrived back and caught up with my club mates to compare notes.

It was an amazing day, hard work but worth every minute.

Friday, 16 September 2016

1609.16 OVER 40s CHECKUP

I was rudely awoken this morning at 5:20 by a violent thunderstorm. I had to come downstairs to let Angel the cat in, she was grateful and I headed back to bed. The weird thing was that as well as the thunder, lightning and heavy rain there was also traffic outside which was unusually heavy for the time of day. Had the storm awoken these people so they'd decided to go to work early? The storm dissipated and so did the traffic but with an alarm set for 6:10 not much more sleep was available.

So today was the day I went for my "over 40s check up". I've been a little apprehensive about it mainly because of my family history. The males in my paternal line all have cardiovascular health issues. My uncle was only a couple of years older than I am now when he died suddenly of a heart attack.

The check-up was pretty basic, performed by a Healthcare Assistant called Joanne. Height, weight, blood pressure and blood tests. Add the lifestyle questions to which I pretty much passed and it was over pretty quickly. I fell below the threshold to be tested for diabetes but since I have a family history she's going to test for it anyway.
So now I wait to see if the bloods reveal any problems, apparently no news is good news so if I hear nothing I'm clear.

Morticia had the same check up directly after me but hers isn't as straightforward as her chronic illness causes other lifestyle issues.

The weather looks like it's going to dry up before I cycle to work. However with all the surface water it looks like I'm still going to get a bit wet!

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

1609.13 EAR SPA

I've never had my ears syringed before so at my appointment yesterday I was a little nervous. I was also excited at the prospect of having my hearing restored (you might remember my hearing loss on my holiday).

My nurse was Jodie who put me at ease and explained the whole process. The loss of hearing was like having a speaker on full blast with nothing connected - I could hear the sound of the air rushing through (all the time).

I have to say it was having a jacuzzi in my ear!

The warm water flushed out a candle sized lump out and suddenly my hearing returned, it was like having the sound un-muted. It was a little inflamed in there so Jodie put a bit of cream. I have a repeat appointment to check on it in a few weeks.

When I stepped outside it was like hearing full on THX stereo sound, I was in awe! I then felt for all those poor people who suffer with hearing loss.

I'm left with a little bit of earache but I can hear the world properly again.

Sunday, 11 September 2016

1609.11 THE PHONE BOOK

Does anyone remember life before mobile phones, Google and social media? A time when if you needed to contact someone you picked up the corded phone and dialed, but not for too long because it was expensive.

If you need to look someone up back then you used the phone book. It was the Facebook of the day. If you needed to find a business or particular service you used the Yellow Pages™ instead of Google.

The reason I mention it was this...
20th century Facebook 
What the hell happened? Firstly I didn't know they still printed these. Secondly have you noticed how small it is? It's a pamphlet. These books used to be MASSIVE! This was posted through my letter box, there's no way the old ones would go through the door.

Is there still a Yellow Pages™? Is it similar sized (I know they have an app these days)?I know the takeaway section has declared independence and each ad comes through the door separately on an almost hourly basis.

Younger people are quite shocked when they realise how the 20th century person communicated and had to look up facts in books (sometimes meaning a trip to the library). It's always good to stop and look at how things have changed.