1409.21 I'M H-A-P-P-Y

I'm writing this whilst sitting in a chair next to my hospital bed in Kepple Ward of Rotherham General Hospital. I came in yesterday for surgery to fix my shoulder following a cycling accident 2 weeks ago.

The surgery was a doddle, I woke up in recovery with a completely numb arm and shoulder. I thought I'd probably sleep the majority of the rest of the day but surprisingly I felt quite alert. It was a good job I'd downloaded a couple of films onto my Nexus tablet.

Then came the longest night. They turned the lights off about half 10 (22:30) and I finished off my film. It was when I took out my earphones and settled down to sleep the problems started. The guy on the end bed (I'm in the far right corner) kept squealing in pain and the old chap next to me began snoring. I've slept through worse to I settled down best I could. I just began to doze when a nurse came to administer anti-biotic into the port in my left hand. Then at about half past midnight they brought in another patient who they placed diagonally opposite me. Staff were buzzing around him with a light above his bed and noisy diagnostic machines buzzing and beeping. After they left him he began to snore like a warthog.

With the sounds of other patients plus the staff dealing with other patients' needs added to the warm temperature of the ward meant a really poor night's sleep. I awoke at 6am when I believe there was a shift change. I was in a bit of pain and really uncomfortable. At half past a nurse came to check my vitals. I decided I might as well get up so got out of bed and read a magazine. The medication trolley came around and I got 2 caplets, 2 tiny pills and a giant pink one. Since then I've felt loads better. The tea trolley, which is a definite highlight, came half an hour ago and also breakfast shortly after (bran flakes).

I'm looking forward to going home (later today) and sleeping properly. Hopefully I'll be fully fit quickly, I have a bike gathering dust.

Note: The title of this entry may not be understood by younger readers. It refers to the theme song to a sitcom from the 80s set in a hospital.

1409.19 A UNITED KINGDOM

I wake up this morning to discover that Scotland has decided to stay in our union and reject independence. I am glad that they are not breaking away, the loss I believe would have irreparably damaged the north of England by condemning us to potentially many years of Tory rule. I believe that the next stage is to look at the way the entire country is governed. How can the parliament that's so far away in the south-east know what's best for a society in the north? I'm hoping for a certain amount of devolution for the regions of England as enjoyed by Scottish people (which is now due to increase following the referendum) as well as the Welsh. A Yorkshire assembly perhaps? After all the population of Yorkshire is comparable to Scotland (5.3m compared to 5.29, source: Google). 

1409.06 A PROPER CYCLIST

They say you aren't a proper cyclist until you've broken your collarbone. Well thanks to some knobhead running out in front of me whilst riding home from work on Thursday night I can now say I'm a proper cyclist.

I was last out of the office as usual, it had been an uneventful afters shift and as I was wheeling my bike out of the bike shed I contemplated the route home. Most of the week I've only cycled the minimum (there & back) so I chose my evening alternative route which gives me a couple of extra 'k's with the option of a nice little climb at the end.

The ride starts with a decent towards the city centre, I'd manage to safely get past the deadly tram tracks (a cyclists' nemesis) and was descending at a steady pace when without warning a man walked out into the road, into my path. He turned to look at me, I think at that point he'd not noticed me before. I think I shouted out as I squeezed the brakes and pushed my bodyweight towards the rear but it was all so fast I'm not 100% sure. I felt the impact but at first thought I was going to be OK and push thro him. Then I went down, I just remember rolling on the road and seeing my front wheel flying through the air. I remember seeing that the wheel was bent and my heart sinking that my bike was not getting out of this unscathed.

I don't know exactly how long it took me to pick myself off the road, I became aware of pain in my shoulder. Suddenly there were people around me asking if I was OK. I saw the other guy get up, pick up his baseball cap up off the road and bugger off swiftly. I wasn't in a position to do anything about that.

There was one lady who was very helpful and a bloke who had a van who ran me home with my bike. I lost my water bottle and my glasses (which were thrown from my face) were crushed by a passing taxi.

Once home it became obvious that something wasn't right with my shoulder so Morticia took me over to A & E to get it checked out. I arrived at the hospital about 22:30. I wasn't seen until about 3:30am! It was then I got the bad news about the break. It feels like I've only just gotten over the collision last year and now I'm back to square one.

1408.19 THAT LONDON

We aren't having a holiday again this year. As a bit of a diversion, and because the opportunity arose we (Morticia & me) decided to have a day in London. As before we made a b-line for Camden Town, an amazing place that I totally get.

I have a list of London pubs that I got from a web article some months ago that I want to visit so part of the trip we decided would take in a few of these.

Camden Eye - This one disappointed (although I'd like to see it at night) and was very pricey)

Brewdog Camden - This bar was a revelation. A totally different drinking experience. We ended up staying here for a while and grabbed a bite to eat. I recently found out there's one of these in Sheffield which I must visit soon.

I love London, the vibe, the Underground, the way it is it's like a different country. I'll be back soon.

1408.04 BUSY BUSY

I've been working hard over the last few weeks. I'm not good at decorating but I've stepped up to the mark in order to get my youngest daughter's new bedroom finished. We waited 2 years to give up our eldest daughter's bedroom to her sister but it wasn't fair that a larger room wasn't been used.

She's moved in now, it's been changed so it now no longer resembles her sister's room. She is so happy with her new surrounding and now has a room fit for the teenager she is about to become.

1408.11 DARK CLOUDS

I feel it. It's hard to explain. Like dark clouds around my head that grip my brain and squeeze. I'm becoming accustomed to things not going my way and no matter how much effort I put into anything the result is never worth it.

I need a holiday. Haven't had one since 2012 and not able to have one this year either. I have a break coming up but it's not the same. I just want what people seem to have. Friends and colleagues have holidays, have nights out. I know most have double incomes with themselves and partners and I don't have that. I know I shouldn't compare but it's hard when everyone seems to be talking of holidays and great times.

It feels that I'm treading water and I'm getting tired.

SUPPLEMENTAL;

I've delayed posting this as the shocking news of Robin Williams' death broke that day. The news resonated with me at the time even though my situation is nothing like his. I've been to dark places in my life but never faced pure despair. I can only hope that more people will now speak about mental illness and the stigma will not be as great.

RIP ROBIN WILLIAMS

1407.06 GRAND DEPART

It's been my ambition for many years to go and see the Tour de France. It's therefore amazing that the Tour is coming to see me! It's on my doorstep, literally 1.5 miles from my door. I wanted to see the race out in the country and not in an urban environment, a place where the spectators would really want to be there and not just popping out to nosey at the spectical. Initally I was going to be camping out Langsett way but my friend who was going with me had to pul out due to illness. I came up with a plan to cycle out to the same area and find a good spot.

Off route

I decided an early start would be best, after all I had no idea what to expect out there, a lot of campers were out there and I was determined to get a decent spot to watch. I set off at about 6am and cycled up through High Green where I left the city. I got a little off track the other side of Wortley but I soon found the right road. It was about an hour before I came across other cyclists.

Bank View Cafe

I arrived at Bank View Cafe at around 7:30-8:00 for refreshments. It was there I got talking to cyclists from the Emley White Horse Wheelers. I then had a choice, to ride towards Holme Moss or Midhopestones. Holme Moss promised huge crowds (especially after what I saw at Cote de Buttertubs the day before). Cote de Midhopestones it was, if that wasn't suitable I planned to carry on until I found somewhere.

Cote de Midhopestones

I cycled the catagory 3 climb that was Cote de Midhopestones, At the sumit there were a few people and it loked like a good spot to see the riders coming up the hill. I copped a squat and got comfy, it was going to be a long wait (I had sandwiches).

There were so many other cyclists there the atmospere was awesome, I spoke to so many people. The day passed so quick and as time passed more peple arrived. There was the promoters caravan which was dissapointing but not what I was there for.

The word passed around that the riders were near, then we saw the television helecopters flying towards us. The first group flew up the hill that hours before I was blowing out of my arse while I climbed. I watched the groups pass shouting and waving as they did.

After all the riders, support vehicles and stragglers passed it was time to go. The ride home took me through Bradfield along with hundreds of other cyclists. I wanted to follw the route but the shear volume of people meant it was impossible. The crowds thinned out at Hillsborough and I headed towards the finishing line at the Motorpoint Arena. They were clearing up by the time I got there.

I got home and watched the race on TV, I saw myself as Marcel Kittle passed the summit where I'd spent the day.

My words can't express the excitement, the feeling and the vibe of the of the day. It was a day I will always remember.

1407.02 TDF PRELUDE

I guess it's kind of expected of me to write about the Tour de France and the Yorkshire Grand Depart. As I write this there is just a few days until the cyclists roll out of Leeds. I am very excited, what I'm not enjoying is the media attention from people who have never really covered cycling, mainly the local TV news and newspapers. Then there's the small backlash from angry motorists who are pissed off that they can't get out in their cars for a day. I've had a few of those arguments over the last seven days.

Over the last couple of days I've been lucky enough to attend 2 free events run by Sheffield Hallam University (a TdF sponsor). On Monday I went along to 'Science of Cycling' at the Crucible Theatre. The event was billed as an interactive celebration of cycling and didn't disappoint. Academics in the field of sports science were joined by Nicole Cooke (arguably the most successful female cyclist of our time) and David Walsh (the journalist who broke the Lance Armstrong doping story). The second was a Q&A panel called 'Cycling Heaven' and was broadcast live on BBC Radio Sheffield. On the panel was Malcolm Elliott (former pro and TdF cyclist), Dean Downing (local pro cyclist), Chris Sidwells (cycling journalist and nephew of the legendary Tom Simpson), Mayur Ranchordas (nutritionist), Dr David James (sports scientist who also chaired the previous event at the Crucible).

My plan for the day (stage 2, York to Sheffield) has been up and down over last few weeks. I was initially going to be camping in a festival environment. Because of a friend's illness the plan was off, then back on and finally off again. I've come up with an alternative which I'm happy with that involves cycling and an early start. So I'm ready for the Grand Depart. I know where I'm watching, when I'm setting off and what I'm taking.

Bring it on...

1406.15 FATHERS' DAY

My Fathers' Day this year was special. Special because I got to spend it with both my daughters. I am so happy that my eldest came over. We had Sunday lunch together in our local pub then we went over to the Botanical Gardens in Sheffield.

It's been over a month since she came back into our lives, we are treading carefully at the moment and enjoying every day as it comes.

1406.09 BACK ON THE IRON STEED

So the bike is functioning and I've started riding again. Up to now I've done a few decent commutes but nothing extraordinary. My first ride I pushed myself, perhaps a little too hard. I wanted to see what I still had. I did well considering the time I've been off the bike. At the end I felt physically exhausted but mentally I felt like I'd acheived a great deal. It was a hurdle I needed to get over, it would have been all to easy to stop. My wrist ached afterwards but that was to be expected and acording to my consultant nothing to worry about.

1405.22 ALL ABOUT THE BIKE

My friends have just completed an amazing coast to coast cycle and I'm both proud and jealous of all of them. You see I should have been on that ride. It was to be a major achievement in my life. Unfortunately I was denied due to the accident last year which left me unable to train. My only hope is that a similar opportunity presents itself to me sometime in the future.

After what seems the most frustrating 6 months I am almost in a position to start riding my bike again. I just got it back from having a new brake/shifter fitted, I put on new bar tape and as soon as I put the new tyres on it'll be ready for the roads. The only problem is I can't get the old pedals off (I want to replace them), still that's a minor issue. It's just a shame the weather has turned from bright and sunny to wet and miserable.

1405.19 THE PRODIGAL

With Morticia's 40th birthday now behind us what about that reunion with our eldest daughter?

Well, there's not much to tell except that we are all taking it nice and slow. She's been up to see us a number of times, we've talked and cried as we've begun getting to know her all over again. I don't know what the future holds for us, I'm not operating under any illusions. I'm taking it all at face value and enjoying having a relationship with my first born child.

That is all I can hope for for now.

1405.10 OH NO FOUR OH!

This week my wife, Morticia, turned 40. It's been a long preparation with loads of wailing and drama. Prior to the 'actual' big day we visited her mother down in St Neots. On the Sunday morning she got to pilot a light aeroplane (one of her biggest ambitions) and in the afternoon we had a little tea party. The bank holiday was my birthday, which we kept low key (I was happy for that).

The big day wasn't much to speak of, gifts were given and cards were opened. Morticia went out for lunch with a friend. I had planned to treat Morticia to a meal from her favourite restaurant (a takeaway since it was a school night). I hadn't realised that the restaurant's opening hours have changed and it no longer opens on a Tuesday. Disappointment didn't cover it but she was ok about it and suggested an alternative. We drank champagne whilst we ate our KFC.

The biggest event of the day was a text message from our eldest daughter. For those in the know, we haven't had contact with our eldest for almost 2 years so this was a big deal. It was the best present Morticia could have received.

The party, which was held at a local pub (in a private room) was an absolute success. It was well attended by family and friends, Morticia looked fabulous and to top everything our eldest daughter came. It was a sweet reunion, the first time in years the 4 of us have been together. 

And of course a party isn't a party unless I get out my legendary air guitar... 

1404.11 GOODBYE ADRIAN MOLE MY FRIEND

I was sad to learn of the passing of author Sue Townsend last night. The character she created in Adrian Mole, a working class anti-hero who's life never quite lived up to his expectations resonated with me. The character was a little bit older than me (4 years) but as a teenager I wholly related with the angst and the pains. He was also a child of the times speaking about the Thatcher years. The books dip in and out of his fictional life and I feel I have grown up with this character. The last book in the series, 'The Prostate Years' dealt with a man in his forties who hasn't achieved what he set out to do (that is something I can relate to) and looks at him dealing with serious illness (thankfully something I've not had to deal with yet). 

Sue Townsend's diary style of writing is the reason why I started blogging. There are books of diaries I kept which are long lost, it is something I've done most of my life. 

Thank you Sue, rest in peace... 

... Goodbye Adrian my old friend. 

1404.10 GETTING BACK ON

This has been an important day for me. Perhaps the most important in a long while.

For the first time in 148 days I got my leg over... 

...over the saddle of a bicycle. For the first time since the accident that saw my wrist broken in 4 places, surgery with 2 plates and 6 screws added, I have gotten back on a bike and rode.

Initially I was nervous, after all being hit by a car is quite a stressful occurrence. I took it quite steady but still I managed a 12K ride. The ride wasn't fast or anything to shout about since I was riding my work bike (that's the bike I ride at work, not what I ride to work).

I hope to ride again in the morning, I have a lot of fitness to recoup.